What it takes to be the wife of a pilot

In light of The Bachelor premiering tonight, with Pilot Jake, I want to write down my thoughts on what I think it takes to be in a relationship with a pilot.

You must:
- be willing to do anything and everything around the house when needed
- this includes but is not limited to mowing the lawn, shoveling the driveway, fixing sump pump failures (or call the neighbors in our case), gardening and taking care of the dogs. In my experience, pilots are cheap. It is much cheaper to have a wife shovel the driveway than hire a service. Be prepared to do house work.

- have trust in your husband
- I think this goes for any relationship, but especially for those who have spouses gone a lot. A pilot is away a lot. A pilot will be around other people a lot. If your mind keeps wondering about where he is, who he is with, and what he is doing...you are in trouble.

- be okay with spending a lot of time alone
- this is pretty obvious. If you have ever lived alone you know what I am talking about. If you have never lived alone, it is harder than you think. Dogs barking in the middle of the night is terrifying if you are alone...coming home to an empty house isn't always comforting after a bad day at work...eating dinner at the kitchen island while reading a magazine isn't as fun as discussing your day with your spouse.

- be prepared to have your husband miss a lot of events
- my husband has missed numerous holidays, numerous parties, nearly missed our baby shower. It is part of the job. Be prepared that you will be doing a lot of things by yourself, including New Years Eve.

- be willing to be a single parent
- this, also, is pretty obvious. When your spouse is away you are the only one left to be with the kids. Take now, for example, as I am battling a cough and a sporadic fever. Steve just got home, thank goodness, but the last couple days took a lot out of me to do what I have to do while being sick. Be prepared for these times, as well as others like when your son cries for daddy when he wakes up in the morning.

- schedule your husband, schedule your family
- To clarify, Steve bids his own work schedules. He will ask my take on things when it comes to important events, but other than that I don't say much. But, as for home stuff I schedule 99% of everything when it comes to: kids stuff, dog stuff, nights with friends, nights outs, babysitting, meal planning, shopping, errand running, family events..........and the list goes on. I know Steve's schedule for the month and schedule everything accordingly...he is just along for the ride. You have to be the Captain of your family's ship.

- ask for help when needed
- I have no problem asking for help. Water leak in basement, call the neighbor. Sick with kids, call my aunt. Didn't buy groceries for when family came to visit, gladly let your brother-in-law go to the store for you. 1 1/2 feet of snow, let your neighbor shovel your driveway.

I am sure I could add a lot more to this list....

I am anxious to watch tonight. I will be sure to keep this blog updated with my thoughts.


  1. Hi there! I just found your blog through Pilot Wives Club, and I wanted to let you know I've added you to the pilot wife blogroll, as well as my Google Reader. Looks like we're on the same wavelength about the Bachelor. Did you check out my post?


  2. Thanks Nicole!!!

    I will check out your post!

  3. Hi Joanna,
    I am in love with your blog! I just found it after googling 'Marrying a pilot'. I've been dating a pilot for four months. So I'm new to being with a pilot but we're starting to talk about the future and I want to know what the hell I'm in for! :) We're both divorced with 3 kids between us so there are even more complications than just his profession. I am and always have been a very independent person so the alone time doesn't bother me. I've never been a jealous person either. However I have found my mind wondering a couple times, at that point I just ask him questions.I told him in the beginning we need to start with trust, then prove that trust to each other over time. Anyway, I'm not completely deterred but you have given me more to think about and consider than I had thought about before. Thanks!

    1. Glad you found my blog. Yes, you need to be an independent and non-jealous type and you will do great with a pilot. Take care!


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