Thursday, January 14, 2010

Welcome home honey...now go back where you came from

Steve got home last night from a 4-day trip.

Yesterday morning I looked at my calendar that shows his schedule and noticed that he would be home in time to say goodnight to Ben. Ahhh I was thinking how wonderful it would be to have him home. I was having all these lovey-dovey thoughts. In fact, I even mentioned on my facebook status that I missed Steve and was happy for him to come home.

Last night I put Cecilia down at her normal time. Since Steve had to stop to get dog food I had to push bedtime a bit for Ben. We were watching his favorite movie (Madagascar) and all the sudden the garage door started to open and the dogs started to bark.

Ben: what that?
Me: I think someone is here!
Ben: Daddy!!!!

He then proceeded to run downstairs as fast as his little feet could take him. It was all very sweet and put a huge smile on my face. (self note: I need to video tape this next time)

Steve walked in and Ben was super happy to see him. I was happy to see Steve. Steve helped Ben to bed, and finally the kids were down.  The house was quiet and Steve and I were finally alone. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and started to eat it as Steve was getting himself ready to head out to door to play basketball. He then started to bitch about my shoes in the garage. Just a bit of history: I have a shoe rack in the garage. 9 times out of 10 my shoes just pile in front of the rack instead of making it to their marked location. Whatever. I don't care. This bothers the heck out of Steve, however. I could care less...proper shoe placement is not one of my priorities while I am trying to juggle two kids to get into the house, juggle two dogs to get out of the house, bring the mail in, bring the trash cans in, bring the recycle bins in, bring in the left over microwave oven that AmVets didn't pick up, ect.

So, we were alone for about 2 minutes and all I get was him complaining about my shoes. This is where the "welcome home honey...now go back where you came from" comes into play. We were alone for 2 minutes and he starts in on me. No "oh honey, I am so glad to see you", no "I know these last couple of days have been rough for you...hang in there, you are doing a great job" (we/I have been crying-it-out with Cecilia and she has been crying every night and up to 2 hours some nights). No...nothing like that...all I get was "blah blah blah...shoes...blah blah blah". The last thing I wanted from him was a lecture about my shoes. Sometimes he is quiet when he gets home from work, especially if he had a busy day, and I can handle that. I just don't like to be bitched at.

When Steve is gone I run the show. I do things the way I want. When Steve gets home he is invading my space, and it takes a bit to get adjusted back to him being home. This has to happen to all pilot wives...it has to. It may not happen after every trip, but it happens a lot. We are used to being alone, and all the sudden this guy is back into the house and the adjustment is never instant. So, we have this adjustment period after trips....combine this adjustment with being bitched at and you get one unhappy wife.

So, yes, there are times when I wish he would go back to where he came from. I will admit it. Now, most often I am happy when he is home. But, there are those times...

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