Friday, January 21, 2011

the things we give up

My booze book club was scheduled for last night.  I absolutely look forward to those nights with the girls for munchies, girl talk and, of course, booze. Women need each other, and these get-together are almost therapeutic in ways.  And if you aren't in some sort of social "club" of some sort, start one yourself! 

I missed this one because Steve was at the funeral of his high school buddy's mom.  So sad, she passed too young after a battle with cancer.

Of course, Steve never knew book club was last night.  I didn't want to be a burden during this time.  I am happy to give up book club for a night when it means so much more for Steve to be somewhere else.

I am not always so happy to give things up due to Steve's job, but I gotta do what I gotta do.  Before kids I was able to do anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. I was on my own schedule.  But now, I have to share my schedule with the kids and Steve.

One of the biggest things I have give up due to Steve's job is coaching.  I was a decent volleyball player...who never reached my peak due to a coach that tossed me aside after an injury and never gave me a second chance even though I was #2 in kills the previous season, but I am not bitter......and I love kids, I sometimes consider going back to school to become a teacher, so coaching kids on volleyball is a natural combination for me.  Before having kids I coached junior high girls for about 5 years.  I loved it, and wish I could do it all the time.  It was a volunteer position, but even though I didn't get paid I really did get my "payment" in the satisfaction of coaching.  I miss it every year.  I really do.

Once the kids get old enough to silently sit on bleachers for 1 1/2 hours, then I will reconsider coaching.  But, until then I gotta do what I gotta do.

There are so many other things that I have give up, but again, I gotta do what I gotta do...and this I am not bitter about.  I am really not. Coaching is really the biggest thing, but I would never hold it against Steve.  Steve's job is what it is.  It gives him a decent paycheck which affords us a lot of things.  I could never hold it against Steve, because if I did things would just suck: I would resent him and he would resent me for resenting him, and on and on.  We couldn't live a marriage like that.

Heck, Steve has probably given up a lot of things because of his job.  The obvious things are holidays and birthdays, but what about basketball leagues and what about him possibly coaching?  That is something he could never do...until he retired.

Because I do give up things, Steve will go out of his way to let things happen for me, like my other booze "club" Margarita Night...hey ladies!  No questions, he knows I need it and doesn't ever put up a fight. There are gives and takes in every relationship, that is a fact with anyone, no matter your occupation.  

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