why do I do this to myself?

After laughing my a$$ off during Modern Family, I turned to PBS to watch Crash of Flight 447.  Why the hell do I do this to myself?  Why do I torture myself?  I am flying in a few short weeks, and yet I watch these programs that scare me.  Thank goodness I have my Rx filled for my anti-anxiety pills!

Steve was home, so really that is why I turned to it.  I am sure he was interested in watching it.  And so we did...

The thing that really gets to me while watching these programs is the dramatization they show of the pilots in the cockpit.  I think of Steve being in that situation.  It scares me.  He has told me before that if he ever were in an emergency, the last thing that he would think about is fear.  He would only think "what do I have to do to save this plane..."  I have mentioned these feelings before when I reviews Captain Sullenberger's book:

"The book nears the end with snapshots of some of the passengers on Flight 1549 and their stories of the flight. It also showcases a couple people who wrote to or spoke to Captain Sullenberger after the ditch, from a survivor of the Holocaust who watched the events unfold before him as he stood on his apartment balcony, to Captain Haynes who crash landed a crippled aircraft in Sioux City, United Flight 232. One of the most moving stories was regarding the daughter of the First Officer who crashed into the Everglades, ValueJet Flight 592. She spoke at length with Lorrie, Captain Sullenberger's wife. The daughter has never found peace with her father's crash, always thinking that the last moments of his life were of sheer terror. When, in actuality, he was probably so focused on the task at hand that he did not have any other thoughts. Captain Sullenberger mentioned that he did not think of Lorrie, or his daughters Kate and Kelly, in those few short minutes. Not that he didn't care for them deeply, it was just that he was so focused on his task at hand that his mind did not wonder. This finally gave peace to the daughter of the ValueJet First Officer. This moved me to tears. These stories demonstrate how people become connected with one another through this event."

All my emotions aside, the program was interesting.  It is amazing that people have a pretty good idea of what happened, even without finding the crash site.  From what I gathered, the biggest issue is that the air speed indicators failed.  There was a steam of error messages, and the pilots were on total overload.  Not to mention that they had to do everything manually, which just complicated things that much more.   There was also discussion about how the instrument placement and non-moving thrust levers, is that what they are called?, probably contributed to things as well.  I pray they find the crash site, so they can recover and research the events with more precision.