Tuesday, May 17, 2011

don't snap...don't snap...

5:45p. Day 2 of a 3-day: Steve called me during his sit, "how is your day going?"

"Not too good," I said.

"Why?" Steve asked, concerned.  "Were the kids okay today, or are they being a handful?"

"No, the kids are fine.  You figure it out" I told him.  Wait, bad choice of words.  Seeing how we just came out of an off time, I didn't want him to think it was about him.  And leave it to us women to be all coded, and shit, with how we are really feeling.  So I quickly said "no, that isn't fair...it is just pre-that time of the month."

I am sure you are all so thrilled that you are tuned in with this wonderful time in my life.  Didn't I just say I needed to keep some things private? But, you ladies know what I am talking about.  Hell, you men know what I am talking about too...this doesn't just effect us, it effects EVERYONE.

How does this pertain to being the wife of a pilot, you may ask?  Aside from Steve not getting laid when he gets home, which I am sure is probably top of mind of most pilots coming home from a trip.  I have to take care of the kids by myself, since he is gone.  And these are the times when I hope my kids don't hate me for being a moody bitch.  If Steve was home this evening, I would have split at some point after dinner.  I would have had him take care of bedtime for CC, and I would have gone out and shopped or whatever else I felt like doing.

Since this wasn't an option, I did my best of getting through the evening without snapping at the kids.  It, obviously, isn't their fault. In fact, it has nothing to do with them.  My head was swirling with snaps all evening, and I tried (and I hope succeeded) at putting on a happy face and making the kids happy.

These are the times it is hard to be the wife of a pilot.  These are the times I wish I had an out, but don't. These are the times when you just have to suck it up.

In all actuality, it really isn't all that bad.  But, I was definitely not my chipper self.  I definitely didn't give Ben a lot of choices tonight (the Love and Logic way) and directed him to do a lot of things.  Bad Mommy.  I definitely started CC's bedtime promptly at 6:30p instead of dragging it out a bit.  I definitely didn't let Ben dilly-dally at bedtime.  lights out = time alone, which is what I needed.  Hey, these are the times you gotta do what you gotta do.

Now, I am going to head upstairs, watch a little trash tv, and fall asleep.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Steve will be home when we get home.  He better have dinner on the table and fresh flowers to hand over to me, damn it.  No, just kidding.  Well, dinner would be nice...but, being home is good enough for me.

4 comments:

  1. I'll be honest. It's times like these I'm glad I am a dude. I will be the first to admit women have it way rougher than men. I'm also glad I don't have to push a 10lb alien out of my vagina for hours upon end. And don't forget about the late life "chages". I found out the hard way what it is like to live with your mother when your mom goes through menapause later in life. I actually thought my mom needed to be institutionalized during this period. She would come at me like an angry poltergeist, leading in with curse words I had never heard her say before. I thought at any minute either she would kill me with her bare hands or her head would disappear and the devil would pop out. Ummm..... No thank you. I will take my regular steady man dude emotions any day of the week. ; ) (this is Kovacs by the way)

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  2. I'm so with you. Kid bedtimes are earlier when I'm home alone. :)

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  3. I've had one to many days similar to yours. I'm feeling bad because this evening i had to punish my middle child for being defiant and speaking in a dis-respectable manner & now I'm second guessing myself for how I reacted to the situation. On top of that, it was my youngest son's b-day and the day didn't go as planned. I'm feeling like it wasn't a special day for him even though we celebrated with family last night. It's hard to juggle so much while our dh are away on a trip or in training, right? Parenting is a joy but sometimes difficult. I try to do the best that I can....

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  4. It is SO hard to juggle everything!!!! We all struggle with this, from time to time. Especially with little ones.

    Our children, when grown and parents themselves, will look back at their childhood with admiration at how they were raised. They won't remember the couple times we lost our temper, or were corrected, but they will remember how we kept it together with Daddy gone all the time.

    We are doing the best we can, and that is what our kids need.

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