Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Fights

Fights.

Gotta love 'em.  Right? 

For any married couple, scratch that...for any couple, married or not, fights happen.  It is just part of being in a relationship. 

Steve and I really don't fight all that much.  Yes, we will have our bickering here and there. But, most of the time our relationship is pretty level and we just cruise along. 

Well, our cruise control is not on right now.  I could go into detail about what is going on, but that is neither here nor there.  Gotta keep some things private, right?

So, how does this pertain to being a pilot wife?  How is fighting different when it comes to pilots?  Tick-Toc.  That is the sound of the clock ticking away before Steve leaves on another trip.

Well, this fight started last Sunday night, like over a week and a half ago.  Steve was off all last week, and the fight was never resolved.  Steve left for a trip, and the fight was not resolved.

Everyone knows the phrase "don't go to bed angry"...well, how about this spin: "don't leave for a trip angry." 

That isn't always easy.  It sucks when you have this time frame that you want to resolve things within, yet your feelings don't allow you to do so.  And then while on the road, it isn't always easy to discuss things and resolve things.  Sometimes things are best done face-to-face, rather than on a phone.  So, before you know it, another 4 days has passed with no resolution.

To clarify, our fight is nothing major...just something that constantly comes up...I have to let my feelings run their course...and then the world is bright and shiny again.

****

Last Friday I got together with the girls for "margarita night" and unloaded on them.  One of the gals was pretty blunt with me and was basically telling me to suck it up and get over this.  I know I need to, and I will, but in due time.  I recognize, now, that I need to work on this issue...and I will.  This is something that Steve and I have to talk about and work on.

I have said it before, and I will say it again, having a strong support system is so great.  These girls are the best, and really help me see both sides of the coin.

Anyhoo, during my vent session one of the things that she asked was "do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"  Wasn't it something when I saw the very same thing a couple days later in this article:

What I thought when my plane crashed

This article, on CNN, is about a passenger that was on the plane that ditched in the Hudson River.

One of the things he learned from the experience was:
I thought about my relationship with my wife, with my friends, with people. And as I reflected on that, I decided to eliminate negative energy from my life. Things aren't perfect, but they're a lot better. I haven't had a fight with my wife in two years. It feels great. I no longer try to be right -- I choose to be happy.


I actually shared this article with my girlfriend.  I think she enjoyed it, especially since it was reinforcing what she was telling me.

This article hit home a bit because of the airplane connection.  Yes, flying is the safest mode of transportation, so the likelihood of anything happening to Steve is almost non-existent.  But, if anything did ever happened to him...and he had left for that trip angry...I don't know if I would be able to live with myself.

****

So, what am I getting at with all this?  I am not sure exactly.  Usually I get to something on this blog, but today I don't think I can do that, and I am sure that is because we have not resolved things.  I am sure that once we do resolve this issue I will be able to write about that something.  I will be sure to keep up all updated.  Stay tuned for: making up after a fight. 

6 comments:

  1. Hang in there! And I like your new bloggy look! :)

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  2. Thanks Amber.

    Thanks for the new look love...did it last night :)

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  3. I think we've all been there! I specifically remember dropping my hubby off at the airport once in the middle of a fight and him slamming the car door and heading into the terminal. Both of us were fuming! I don't even remember what we were fighting about now, but I remember how crappy it felt to leave things like that. It does suck, but usually we're fairly good about resolving things quickly. I really can't stay mad that long before I want things to be okay with us.

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  4. I hate this too.. But generally the three or four day trip cools me off enough that things are fine when pilot gets home. ... That is until unresolved issue comes up again, and the cycle starts again. I'm really trying hard to change my attitude and outlook. And I really need to make a better effort to have a regular girls night. Nothing like talking with an adult after four days of talking with my 5, 3, and 5 month old kids. I'm still trying to find the good in this pilot lifestyle, it's hard but I'm trying.

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  5. Camille - the unresolved issue is the thing about this fight...it happens maybe once or twice a year. i have a hard time opening up and really fully discussing it, so it is never truly worked out. As for girl time, even if it is just a couple hours shopping by yourself with cup of coffee in hand. There are times when I just need to get away for that extra time to gather my sanity.

    It is tough, but you are a stronger mother because of it. Women look at you, including me, with amazement on how you do it all with three kids. You are a strong woman, wife and mother to do it all. We all have our weak moments, we are human. But you get through it as a stronger person.

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  6. Brittney - I remember one bad fight (also, not remembering what it was about) where things were so fuming the morning of his trip, that we actually met for lunch (afternoon show) and tried to talk things through. We left feeling okay, but not perfect.

    isn't it something how we will probably always remember those trips?

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