Guilt

Steve and I met up with some friends on Saturday evening.  Steve and his buddy go back to college days, and he now flies corporate.  His wife and I sure can share similar stories about the shit we go through when our husbands are away.

At one point during our conversation about said shit, Steve mentioned that he can actually feel guilty when leaving on a trip.  Yes there are times when he has a pretty posh trip, where he has long layovers in tropical places with a CA that he likes.  All the while I am back home, working, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, taking care of the dogs, and keeping house.  This is when he can feel guilty.


...and isn't it ironic that Steve left for his next trip probably feeling guilty.  But this time, it wasn't because of this trip, it was because of his daughter.

Before I get into all the details, let me say now that I love my daughter to pieces.  She is a huge pain in the ass right now, and I struggle to keep patience nearly every minute of the day, but I love her and cherish her.

Ok, so let me talk about this stage CC is going through.  Remember a couple of posts ago where I was talking about how pilot wives can't be whiny bitches all the time...well, CC is now a whiny bitch all the time.  She is going through this phase where she just cries and cries and cries and throw a fit and screams and hits and screams.  Something will set her off, and boy you better watch out!

********
The other day the fit started when Steve went on his 5-mile run.  I loaded the kids up in the bike trailer, and off we all went.

This is an old picture, but you get the idea.

We didn't even make it eight houses before CC just went nuts.  She didn't want to wear her helmet, but safety always comes first, so not wearing it is never an option.  The helmet set.her.off.  She was pushing Ben, screaming, ect.  We waved 'bye-bye' to Steve as he kept running, and then the kids and I turned around and went home.

No joke, when Steve returned after running the 5 miles, CC was still crying.  No joke. 

We got CC calmed down...finally.  The rest of the evening was okay, and then Steve left for a trip. 

********

Right before Steve turned off his phone for the flight, he called me and asked how the rest of the evening went.  The entire day had been rough, especially the 5-mile fit CC had, and he was making sure I was still sane.  I am sure he had some guilt before he left, especially since CC was such a mess.

I have to say, at least the guilt is all on him.  I am never one to make him feel guilty for leaving.  Could you imagine if I threw this in his face "see, look what you are leaving me with.  I hate your job, and I hate that you are leaving it right now."  Now, that would be rough. 

The best thing in the world that Steve can do (and does!) is totally jump in when he is home.  That gives me the time to recoup from his abscence, and gear up for his next trip.  This probably makes Steve feel better from any guilt, and it makes me be all that more okay with his job.