reminders of him

Steve was on a trip.  I walked out of my office building and I literally just stopped and stared at the sky.

Contrails in the sky...reminders of Steve.

I have found that when you are missing someone, little reminders of them mean a whole lot.

When I was a Peace Corps Volunteer and living in Slovakia, I would only see Steve every couple of months. I would miss him like crazy.  I would constantly see planes flying in the sky, and I  would just stare at them.  I couldn't help it.  Something as insignificant as a plane flying in the sky somehow made me feel connected to him.


I might be weird, but I think Vegas is a very romantic city.  Every time I am there without Steve I miss him more than usual.  The very first time I was there I went with a co-worker that was only at the company for 2 months.  I didn't know her very well, but as we were watching the Bellagio fountains I totally wanted to hold her hand and just spoon with her or something.  We are dear friends now and laugh out loud when we talk about that experience.  I remember one very specific time I was out there, I was on a break from work and was outside of the Venetian.  I was sitting on steps, and just staring into the sky.  I am not sure if the planes were taking off or landing, but they kept after another.  They were flying right over us and I just sat and stared at them.  I even shed a couple tears. 

The details of the ugly times in your life can be quickly forgotten, and I think that Steve was either in training or sitting reserve while I was out there...and that is always a tough time to go through.  So, I was probably missing him that much more.


I am sure that Steve will be thrilled to hear that I link planes with him.  When we hear a plane overhead, I look up...he doesn't.  He considers it work and time away from him...I consider it to be part of his blood.  He made it this far and has been through the ringer and back, so you know he has got to love it deep down.

So, when I see planes, I will think of him.  And when I miss him, these planes will put a smile on my face. 


  1. I was in San Diego over the weekend and their airport is right near downtown where I was staying. I was missing my pilot like crazy and watching the planes come and go comforted me for some reason. :)

  2. We feel that way about helicopters :0). Son used to say "Look daddy" whenever there was a chopper in the air. Now he has a better understanding that daddy does not fly over our house ever but he is up there somewhere so when we hear that whoop whopp of the blades slapping air we look up and think about daddy.

  3. Joanna, I have really loved reading your blog today. I am dating a pilot right now and this post was like reading my own thoughts :) Every time I see a plane or hear one above me in the clouds I think of my pilot. The only difference is my pilot is at the beginning of his career, so he also looks up at the sky every time a plane goes by! It really is a part of them isn't it? I look forward to reading more of your blog; it's been encouraging!


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