Friday, August 12, 2011

keep strong...don't blow...almost there...keep your cool

T minus five hours until Steve's flight gets in.

T minus one hour until Ben goes to bed.  I just put CC down.

I can do this...I can keep it together...my kids will not see my angry and frustrated...I have to keep my cool because I can't have my kids see me sweat.

*****

The day started off great.  Ben crawled into bed with me at 7am and we stayed in bed until 7:45 or so when CC woke up.  We came downstairs to have breakfast and chill a bit before we headed to the mall for pictures. 

With the assistance of my sister, I chose outfits for the kids.  Meanwhile, the kids were chilling in our bed watching Alvin and the Chipmunks while I ironed the clothes and then got myself showered.  Ever so necessary, especially since I had a "maintenance" appointment at the salon for our pending Vegas trip.

We left the house seven minutes later than my desired departure.  We arrived at the appointment just 2 minutes late.  We were doing just fine!

The pictures turned out better than expected.  Since the kids are so young, I truly just hope for one good picture.  We were successful, and then some!


We got home, CC napped, Ben played with silly string, and I started laundry and cleaned up.  By mid-afternoon my in-laws came up and I headed out for a bit.  I got a couple new outfits for our trip, and then went to the salon.  I came home to a set table and dinner made.  Bonus!

After dinner we relaxed and just talked while the kids were having a great time playing on the tri-cycle.  Ben was peddling while CC was on the bar in the back.  They were just all giggles. 

My in-laws left and headed up to the boat.

The kids and I stayed outside and kept playing.  This is when it started to go downhill...

*****

Up to this point, our day was great!  So, why did it go bad?  I don't know.  Steve is usually home on Friday.  Maybe that is it.  Maybe I am started to feel pulled every which way to get ready for Vegas.  Maybe I am just at my wits end after a 4 day trip.  Maybe my daughter is really testing her boundaries, which means overtime in this job as Mommy.

*****

Ben and CC were playing on a toy box in the garage.  They just love this box and always have fun hiding and playing in it.  Well, today they started to stand on top of it...



Then we get inside to settle down before bath time.  I started to sweep the floors.  Before I know it, CC had spilled water on the steps.  Ugh!

As much as I praise Love and Logic and think that it is wonderful, it hasn't worked with CC, so far. I am adamant that my children will mind me.  I won't have it any other way.  Period.  So far so good with Ben.  Now, CC is a total different story.

The blood lines in the family have some VERY heavy stubborn streaks.  I can't tell if CC has this streak, or if she is just being a 2-year-old.  I am not giving up on Love and Logic yet...

I tried my darnedest to "love and logic" my way through the wet steps, and ultimately we were successful...it only took 10 minutes.  ****thud**** That is the sound of my body falling to the ground from the exhaustion of having to work so much with CC

As I was working with CC through the step situation, Ben was an absolute angel and started the bath water.  Before I knew it, he was already undressed and in the bath.  I always praise him for how much of a helper he is, and that is the God's honest truth.  So many times he does little things like this that just calm me and help me get through a tough situation.

Bath was fine.  Getting dressed was fine.  The kids then ran into our bedroom to play on the bed, which is normal.  All the sudden there was a boom. I went into the bedroom and the nightstand was turned over, a broken lamp was on the ground, and CC was looking at me, as cute as can be.

 keep strong...don't blow...almost there...keep your cool

I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell.  I wanted to just escape and run out of the room and make the culprit deal with the mess.

I just cleaned up the mess and then we all headed to CC's room for books and CC went to sleep.


******


When Steve is gone, it is all me at home.  When Steve is gone, I am the only parent.  When I am the only parent, it is all me.  I have to keep it together when it is just me.

As a parent there are plenty of times when you want to beat your child, but resist.  There are plenty of times that you want to just leave the room in frustration, but don't.  There are plenty of time that you want to just break down and cry, but you don't...or you do it when no one is watching. 

When Steve is around and I have one of the situations above come up, I leave and he comes in.  And vice versa.  Parenting really is a two man job, especially when it comes to afternoons like this!

But, when it is just me...guess what?  I can't do any of that.  I have to keep cool. Or at least try.  Yes, I have lost it a couple times, but I wish I wouldn't have.  You live and learn.  I have learned that I want my children to know that they don't make me sweat.  I want my children to know that I am a strong woman who can juggle all this. I want my children to mind me and respect me.

Now...what am I going to do with this CC child of mine?!


*****

So, I have mentioned before that I like to have the house clean when Steve gets home.  Well, maybe that won't be the case tonight.  The house is straightened up. The laundry is done. But I didn't roll the socks, which Steve hates. The floors are swept. There is a plate of food in the fridge for him. Compliments of my mother-in-law.  These are the basics, but beyond that I am done.    Sometimes I just don't have it in me to be superwife/supermom all the time.  Thankfully Steve is an understanding man, and will still go on loving me. 

1 comment:

  1. I still think everytime i read all of this that you are the MOST superwoman i know! I mean days i'm home i try to get it all done too; errands,laundry, cleaning, dinner; etc and the kids.. BUT then DH gets home and i give in..i'm done and need help. he was out of town 4 days last week & it was HARD. i was flat out exhausted and just DONE when he got home thurs night.... i don't know how you do it all the time... good for you!!!!!!! Stacy

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