Monday, September 12, 2011

in a flash

Steve came home from a typical 4-day trip.  Steve spent the typical three days home, and then Steve left again for another 4-day trip. 

After Steve left for his last trip, I kept asking myself if he was actually home those three days.  I mean, before I knew it he was off again, in a flash.

During his days off, we kept busy for sure.  As the kids get older, the busier things will be.  Steve was busy with: marathon training runs, tearing down the deck, helping friends with landscaping and let's not forget the Buckeye game.  Meanwhile, I was busy with laundry, parents meetings for Ben's Polish class, a birthday party and landscaping. Not to mention the other things that you have to do that goes without saying: cooking, cleaning, playing with the kids, ect.

As we were making the bed the morning Steve left for his trip, I looked at him and told him my love tank was empty.  Be proud of me that I have become quite vocal about this...before I would let it boil and boil until I would explode, but now I tell him the second it feels empty.  Maybe it is a moot point to tell him hours before he leaves for a trip, but at least I put it out there. 

He responded by giving me a big hug and tackled me onto the bed and made some crass remarks...Steve, the kids can hear us!  No matter what you love language is, if you don't get your tank filled before a trip you can feel pretty empty when he is gone...and that is just the pits.

Oh wait, I should clarify in Steve's favor...he did try to fill my tank the day before he left.  However, giving me a wonderful red welt on my upper inner thigh via towel snap ain't gonna cut it!.  The second he did it, I told him to "fuck off" and I truly could have slapped his face.  Really, I could have.  It hurt.  Note to any dudes reading this: never towel snap your partner.  This is a sure way to the dog house!

Ok, so what am I getting around to?  Don't let his time home go to waste.  I have mentioned before that you need to love on one another when the pilot is home, and that is the truth! 

I am not ragging on Steve at all, so don't take it that way.  This is truly a 50/50 thing - we just had a busy couple days...before the both of us realized it, he was off again.  Then the text messages start that say "I miss you" and he has only been gone 4 hours.

It is important, as a couple who is apart a lot, to make the most of your time together.  As parents, our main priority is to care for the children.  But, make time for one another beyond that.  Remember, you were husband-and-wife first!  It is SO easy to forget to do that, but you have to.  If you don't, then your relationship could head towards a bad place.

Take the previous group of days home, Steve and I went on a date one night, and another night we watched Hall Pass (you must rent this...it is hilarious).  These two nights were great since it was true one on one time.  My tank was filled.  I hope his was.  I felt totally fine when he left.  All was right in the world.  

This past block of days off, we um...I can't even remember.  Let me think.  Oh!  One night he worked on his bid while I fell asleep on the couch.  Then the other night we got in a tiff since I came home from a parents meeting to a dirty kitchen.  Yes, Steve was working on our budget at the time, but there were lunch plates out at 9:45p.  I even had to finish up laundry at 9:45p...I was just exhausted and the dirty plates just set me off.  So, needless to say, we didn't spend that much quality time together.  This past set of days off wasn't ideal in terms of couple time, and I am sure he felt it too.

Let me say it again: love on each other when you are together.  Don't let life get in the way, and make excuses of why you don't do this and that.  Do it!  Hug, not just for a couple seconds...try hugging for a minute.  Steve actually does do this, and it is nice.  Hold hands.  Tell your spouse you love them...while looking them in their eyes.  Cuddle while watching tv, or while in bed.  Cherish the time you have together.  These things will all make you miss him more when he is gone...which makes the coming home that much more anticipated.    

3 comments:

  1. We go through this every once in a while- needing to connect better. You're lucky Steve is getting three days off in a row most of the time, I'd love that. Greg usually has two in a row most weeks, and coupled with commuting, that leaves hime with one night home half the time- which actually translates to like 5 hours awake together in one week with my work schedule. It's rough. I agree- you have to really prioritize the time together, and vocalize when you need more love. It's tough!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Josh and I were just discussing his horrible work schedule last night and both debating on if it's even worth it to be a pilot.

    But thanks for posting this...its a great reminder of how important it is to cherish the time we have together.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Brittney - that is just the pits!! I totally fear the whole commuting thing. I don't know if I could handle that. I am assuming he is on reserve, right? June/july/august all sucked for Steve's schedule, and things were nutty, but yeah he mostly holds 3 days off. Even the kids bank on it these days.

    Shea - I guess the bigger question is what would Josh do if he got out of flying? And would he resent leaving? Has he thought about a corporate job? Usually corporate gigs allows them home longer.

    ReplyDelete