just what the doctor ordered

Sometimes being married to a pilot wears on you.  The wear is anything and everything from being a single mom, to putting away dinner dishes every night, to doing bathtime and bedtime every night, to sleeping alone, to having to take the trash out every week, to helping with homework, to locking up the house every night...to just being alone once the kids go to bed...

Steve was home for a bit longer than usual this last set of days off.  Do you know what that means?  A break for me, in a sense.  I feel refreshed and I actually like Steve again.  That sounds bad, doesn't it?  You know how things can get at times: the little shit things piss you off, like the way his jaw pops when he eats.  Most times you don't even notice the pop, but sometimes it is like nails on a chalkboard.  You know some sort of bug is up your ass when you get this way.  That bug had been up my ass for a good while...but, the good news that this said bug is now gone!  Is that a sigh I hear, Steve?

When Steve was home he took the kids to school.  He cleaned up those pockets in our house that just accumulate lots of shit and never gets addressed (ours being the counter top in the mud/laundry room).  Steve cleaned up after dinner.  He bathed and put the kids to bed every night.  We hung out after the kids went to bed.  He was home! It was nice. 

I can't comment for Steve, but I think this extra time off was good for him too.  I could tell  he was more patient with the kids, and just happy...relaxed in a way.  He said he was "sleeping like a log" which doesn't normally happen when he is home.  And he didn't touch a razor for days...any man not forced to shave has to love that.  Plus, I am sure that he is happy that I am not snapping at him and giving him one word answers to the questions he asks. 

This lifestyle can really wear on you, and a little break in a typical schedule can do wonders!  We, as in wives with traveling husbands, have all been broken down where we just get pissed off and frustrated and angry and annoyed at the littlest things.  Time does heal all things.  And time, with a husband at home, has surely healed me.

Steve left for his last trip and I missed him almost the moment he left.  When Steve gets home from this trip I will be happy to see him.  Although he will be off of a red-eye, and that doesn't always put him in the best mood.  As much as this lifestyle wears on you, it also makes the heart grow fonder....at least it grows fonder for me...most times.  In all honesty, over the last couple weeks I was glad he was on the road, since I needed my space since that pesky bug up my ass was taking up a lot of room.  And after my birthday disaster, I am VERY glad he was across an ocean!  But, I like these times better: when I think about him and get butterflies in my stomach. (Mike, did you just throw up a little bit in your mouth, again?)

I am putting this all out there, since we have all experienced this...and it is normal.  Having a rough patch doesn't mean that your relationship is failing, it just means you just have a little bump on the road.  Every marriage is going to have these bumps, but just like you do when flying through a rough patch of air - you slow down.  Steve and I were able to slow down these past set of days off and live a normal life.  It was a good thing...and I like him again.


  1. Thanks for this post. I'm engaged to a regional pilot and I'm still findng myself in this mess of an airline life (and blogging for that matter!). It's nice to know that I'm not the only person working my way through it and that it's normal :)

  2. This is great. You're a wonderful writer. As a flight attendant, I know the lifestyle isn't easy on our partners. As a wife who's married to a frequent flier, I do enjoy from time to time a few quiet nights at home. Are you on twitter?

    Heather Poole

    1. Heather - thank you for the compliments. Comebackdaddy is on twitter, but I really don't engage it too much. Can I tell you that I love you! Thank you for finding and reading my blog. I just saw you on 20/20...loved it!


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