When you are a pilot wife and a mother, one is not likely to be a lazy ass. There is just too much to do when your pilot is away and you have kids to take care of. Having said that, I sort of milk it when Steve is home. Would I consider myself to be a lazy ass at times? Maybe.
I figure since it was 100% me when he was on a trip, I can lay back a bit and be a little hands off when he is home. When he is home, he is: always the one to lock up the house at night, always the one to check on the kids before we turn in, always, well 99% of the time, the one to give the kids a bath, always the one to clean up dinner dishes. The list could probably go on.
I also have a tendency to be a bit hands off leading up to a trip, because I am gearing up for four days of being 100%. Case in point, the other weekend: we went to my sister's house to celebrate my nephew's 5th birthday. On Saturday afternoon, just a day before Steve was leaving for a 4-day, I recall being very comfortable in their sitting room while talking to my sister, aunt and mom. Steve was in the tv room with the guys drinking wine and watching basketball.
All the sudden, I heard CC upstairs calling for assistance with something or another. What did I do? I called to Steve to help her. Lazy ass. The good mother in me was trying to get my ass of the couch, but my head was saying, of course in a whining manner, "but Steve leaves tomorrow and it is going to be all me for four days...he can handle this one." Steve hopped right to it, and helped out. Which, leads to the next topic...
Steve really is superstar when he gets home from trips. He is the opposite of lazy ass. This past set of days off was just exceptional. I usually block out one "me time" session when Steve is home. Well, this past set of days off I had two sessions, and Steve was nothing but encouraging of it. AND when I would get home from these "me time" sessions, the kids were happy and the house was incredibly clean. I almost felt guilty about it, but the guilt was only in my head. Good man.
As much as a wife needs to be supportive of her pilot and encourage him through career decisions, and support him through reserve periods, and let him sleep in after he has a crappy pairing...the pilot needs to help out when he is home so that the wife can unwind from the last trip - and gear up for the next trip. A pilot wife needs to recharge. I suppose I knew this all along, in an unspoken manner. But, it really wasn't until this last set of days off that it really become obvious.
I don't know if I am lucky to have a pilot like this, or if this is the norm in pilot households. But, what I will say that is having such help when he is home keeps me going. If I had to be 100% for 4 days, and then anything more than 50% the other days, I would probably crack over time. Life would become miserable, and I would resent his job. Thank goodness that is not the case.
How does the saying go? A happy wife is a happy life. Glad my pilot knows how to keep his wife happy.