- terms like FO, non-rev, pairing, ATC, and slam-clicker actually mean something to you, and are spoken often in your household.
- you took his car to get groceries, and curse when you open the trunk to load the groceries and realize you have to battle for precious trunk space next to his pilot hat and a flight bag. Remember, don't crush the hat!
- you have the internal thought of "what if I die in my sleep? When will someone find me?" (Although, I am sure that anyone that lives alone has this thought too.)
- you don't like to look outside the windows at night...because you would hate to see human eyes looking back at you. He isn't home to protect the house that night, so you just keep the blinds pulled.
- you have "crew scheduling" programmed into your cell phone, and you know what to do when that number calls.
- you know the difference between a 737, 777, A320 and an RJ. When people refer to RJs at "tiny planes" you want to slap them.
- his company's app is incredibly accessible on your cell phone, because you want quick access to track his flight.
- you understand military time.
-his sense of fashion was once horrible, and then you stepped in and shopped for him. Now, he gets it. Ok, maybe on layovers he wears basic running shoes and jeans and a basic top. But, when he is home, he is looking good.
- you find earplugs in your dryer. You find these buggers anywhere and everywhere around your house. Oh, and you know how to properly put them in your ear (pinch and roll, pull ear up and insert)
|earplugs in the dryer. at least they are clean again|
- your children look up at a plane flying high in the sky and yell "Hi Daddy!"
- you have times when you want to pick up the phone and call your husband, whether it be to vent, spread good news, or spread bad news. But, realize he is in the air and the call would go straight to voicemail. You get sad. These are the times when you wish your best friend was around more. So, you call your sister...
- you recognize when you need help, and you have no shame in asking for it. This could be anything from a snow plow service in the winter, to a break away from life for a weekend.
- the world comes to a complete hault, all because a union email showed up in his inbox.
- vacation is a week away. You are planning on going...somewhere. You will make final decisions a couple days before you leave, and it will all depend on load factors
- you can only commit to events next month once his schedule comes out. You often speak the line "I would love to come, but I will let you know on the 20th."
- you show up solo to parties/events often enough that people start to question if you are still married.
|Me and the kids, without Steve, and the Polish Christmas program this past year. |
Thank goodness for Babcia and Dziadek (Grandma and Grandpa) and
Ciocoa and Wujek (Aunt and Uncle) came with us...so we wouldn't be so alone.
- you keep energy drinks in the fridge to help your husband recoup from a red-eye. You do this because you don't want to deal with his crabby ass for the rest of that day. You will do whatever it takes to make that day bearable, so you don't have the desire to send him back where he came from.
- you know what an epaulet is. Better yet, you know how one fits onto a shirt. Best of all, you know the difference between three stripes and four stripes.
- you squeeze in a quickie before he leaves, because 4 days sees SO far away...and you want him to leave with happy thoughts of you.
- you 'do it' with his hat on. Admittedly, we have not done this. But, the question has been asked of us.
- you plan sex, because it may be another 2 weeks before it happens again. A woman knows her cycle, and needs to consider these things.
- these rolls appear in the laundry, and you understand his "code." Clean outbound rolls are opposite of dirty inbound rolls.
- your shave schedules are opposite. When he is gone and has to shave everyday, you don't lift a razor. When he is home and doesn't lift a razor, you make sure to shave everyday.
- you cringe when someone whines about "having to work the day after Thanksgiving" because he wasn't even home for Thanksgiving, and he won't be home for Christmas...or New Years Eve...You bite your tongue.
- you cringe when someone whines about having to deal with some house emergency when their spouse was out of town...because you deal with this on a monthly basis. What's the big deal? You bite your tongue.
- you cringe when you hear a pregnant someone talk about making sure their husband "has their phone on them at all time, or else" when their due date nears....because your pilot was in another country when you went into labor, and he still made it home. If he is within a 200 mile radius of you at all times, he will make it. Don't turn it into something bigger than it is. You bite your tongue.
- you want to slap the person that says "oh, it must be nice to have 12 days off a month." Maybe he was off 12 days last month, but he was gone 152 nights last year. Now, tell me what you think about that. You bite your tongue.
- you get "show time" and "go time"
- you leave directions for him in checklist form, because you know he will respond to it.
- you forget shit. You forget lots of shit. You forget things like uniform dress down day at school, and your first child's kindergarten orientation, because you just have too much shit on your plate.
- you surprise yourself at how strong you are at times when it comes to being a single-parent.
- there are times where you just want to throw in the towel, in terms of being a single-parent, and say "fuck it all!" These are the times that you count down the seconds he walks in from that 4-day, so that you can finally have some sort of break.
- you have your young children do chores. 3-year-olds are fully capable of bringing trash cans from the curb. This is done to lighted our load when he is away.
- the view outside your laundry room is this:
yet, you still have to wash shorts!
- you have to yell at him to use his windshield wipers in the car. What is it with pilots and not starting the wipers until you can't see anything?
- it is a rare occasion that you get ready at the same time in the morning for work.
- after being married all these years, you still miss your husband. You still think about him and get excited that he is coming home. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
- you tell people that your relationship works because he is gone so much. That sounds odd, but it is true.
- you wish he were home every night. But, he isn't...and your life is still perfect.