Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Home

Are you familiar with the HGTV show House Hunters?  If not, here is the gist: 30 minutes of a person/family trying to find the perfect home.  They list the budget, disclose the city, and then show three houses in the running.  In the end they choose the house, and show them moved in a couple months later.  I like this show, and often tune in when it is on. 

Why am I mentioning this show?  Because it is the inspiration for this blog post: Home.
CC's gnome garden


A reoccurring comment on this show is "this will be our forever home" and I can just imagine the kids growing up here.  I cringe when I hear that term "forever home."  Why?  Envy.

Because I don't know if I will ever be in our "forever home."  Mostly I get envious with the fact that most families settle down in one place...but, aviation families can't...unless you commute.  But, commuting is for the birds.  Who wants to commute?  I dread the idea of Steve commuting.  He is gone enough...

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Steve and I have been VERY lucky in terms of moving, or lack of moving, with his jobs.  He went to university near where we live now.  I went to university where we live now.  We met in the area.  He has been based out of his airport since 1998, with about a year total at another base when he was reserve and commuting.  Crash pads must suck...this is one thing I am glad I have never seen!  We lived in our first house for about eight years, and here we are at year three in our current house.  Within all these years the longest move was a short 25 miles. 

Does Steve have a base closure in his future?  Let's just say that I am often asked "how is the hub holding up?"  There is talk around town, and the talk has been frequent enough over the last number of years that we often think about the option of moving vs. commuting. 

Do I want this to be our forever home? Yes. Hell yes, as a matter of fact.  I love our house.  I love our backyard.  I love our town.  Our neighborhood is great.  The schools are great.  Do I think that this will be our forever home?  I don't know that.  It could, if we consider commuting.  But, do we want to commute?  And I purposefully put the "we" in that sentence because commuting, I am assuming, would be a joint effort.  Yes, I think we will consider commuting...but, that thought wasn't so concrete until recently.

Until recently my mother-in-law was well...and then she heard the word cancer, that stupid word, as the reason she had a sore jaw.  Two more words: multiple myeloma.  This is a kind of blood cancer, a plasma cancer, that develops in the bone marrow.  Before that stupid word entered into our life, we (mostly I) always said that we would move to wherever Steve was based.  Period.  I wanted to be close to him, and I wanted him to be close to his base.  I didn't want to add any more days gone and time away from us.  Steve is gone enough.  I did not like the idea of taking him away from us any more.  And then, Steve told me his thoughts...

In our typical fashion, after Steve gets home from a trip we will sit around after the kids go down, and just talk and talk and talk.  Well, during one of these post-trip talks Steve looked across the end table (we were sitting in the family room) and he told me that he wants to stay put...he wanted to be close to his parents.  He didn't have to say anything else, because I got it.  In one short sentence, I got it.  We are staying put for a good while, even if that means commuting is in our future.  Maybe this IS our forever home.

Through these last couple of weeks and months I have grown to realize that those vows said during our wedding "through sickness and health" didn't just mean the sickness and health of husband and wife.  Those vows also include the sickness and health of family members.  Imagine that, 10 years later and those vows spoke to me. 

And I got Steve's request...I vow to be the wife Steve needs me to be during this time of sickness.  And if that means that he may have to commute, then so be it.  So, maybe this will be our forever home, and I do take comfort in that.  But, who the hell knows.  No need to worry or stress about it.  Rather, I will try to live every day to the fullest.  Life can change in a split second, so it is important to realize and cherish what is most important in your life, and not leave any regrets behind...no matter where you make your home. 


Grandma at CC's 3rd birthday party



8 comments:

  1. Oh know I'll be thinking of you guys! As I type this I'm sitting in the hospital with my grandmother who they are thinking has the same thing. Commuting is for the birds and it does suck but now that we are back in Chicago near family we aren't moving anytime soon.

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    1. Have they found anything with your grandmother? My heart is with you!

      The good thing about Chicago, if your pilot is based there, is that there is no closing of those hubs, probably ever!

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  2. We too made the call to stay put even if his base changes. While it really will suck if he has to commute, I need my family close by just to handle when he's gone now. Especially as family ages and needs more help from me (us). Thinking about you guys!

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    1. I would suck to commute! But, everything in life is about balance and compromise.

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  3. I'm sorry to hear about Steve's mom. I will be praying for her. I learned during my husband's deployments overseas that it is very important to have family close by. We say that we may move if he is transferred to another base, but I know that it helps me to hold it together knowing that I have family within 15 minutes of us.

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    1. Thank you! Yes, knowing family is close is such a comfort!

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  4. Hi,
    I have been a reader of your blog for awhile but have never commented...sorry to hear your mother-in-law is sick, best wishes to her for a quick recovery. Commuting is not that bad if your pilot is not on reserve and there are enough flights from where you live to his base. My husband is DAL 757/767, based in JFK/LGA and home for us is Minneapolis. He misses an extra 2 nights a month I would say, leaving at 5pm from here for an early show there, and he is on reserve. If your pilot has a line, the worst thing about commuting is the extra $200-300 a month to pay for a crashpad. :( But you probably already know this stuff anyway. Love reading your blog, so many things I can relate to, I have a "spirited" 3 year old girl that keeps me on my toes while pilot is away! :) Take care, Holly

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    1. Hi! Thank you for your wishes.

      That is the good thing about Steve. He is senior enough to be a line holder in any base (he is even near holding CA in some) and the flights to a close hub are nearly every 1-2 hours. The crash pad cost would be a fraction of making the move (we bought our house at $80 a sqft!!!).

      Ah, we can commiserate with one another and our little sweet girls...God speed! :)

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