It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it means he is a pilot

Blogging has been a great way to connect with other pilot wives.  One main thing I have come away with, over the years, is the fact that many of our pilots have similar behaviors.  It is great reassurance to hear from others that their pilot acts the same way mine does.  That way, we know it isn't us, but them!  This makes us feel like our crazy is actually normal.

There are so many instances where I have just rolled my eyes at certain behaviors and immediately think that the pilot in him made him do that.

** Take this as an example:
You know he is in the air.  You think of him fondly and you send him a text so that he has it when he turns his phone back on.  The text expresses how deeply in love you are with him.  When you send the text you have butterflies in your stomach, because you love that man so very much. You miss him dearly, and long for his return home.

He never texts back.

Hello? Is this thing on?

Typical.  I know Steve loves me.  But, I also know that Steve doesn't always respond to text messages.  Did he get the text? Probably.

** Or, how about this one:
You haven't spoken to him all day long.  You have been waiting all day to talk to him.  You are husband and wife after all.  You do share this life together.  So, you want to share details of your day.  You know he has a full day so you don't bother with calling him, but rather you eagerly await his call.

It is 8pm, and he finally calls you.  You talk to him for all of 46 seconds.  You could tell immediately that he was exhausted, so you just keep the conversation short and sweet.  I guess you will share the good news...tomorrow.

** Ah, and how about this...
He has been gone a looooong four days.  You have been anticipating his arrival for days now, and plan to take full advantage of the warm body that will shortly be next to you in bed.  If you catch my drift.

He gets into bed.  You finish up in the bathroom. Eagerly, you climb into bed.

He is asleep.

You understand he is tired, so you don't bother waking him up.  You figure you have three more nights to take advantage of his warmth before he leaves for his next trip.

The above scenarios are just a couple snapshots into our life, and I know other pilot wives go through the same.  At first these situations used to bother me, but now I just realize it is all part of this crazy lifestyle.


  1. Or when you have to leave little post-it notes reminding yourself the things you needed to talk to him about during the next phone call. Great post! I can relate.

    1. I blogged about this years ago LOL

      Again...we all live the same lives!!!!

  2. I'm happy to report those things don't bother me as much anymore... It's definitely a process and takes some getting used to. At first it would hurt my feelings when he'd go to bed without giving me some action first... Now I don't expect it the first day back and I'm not disappointed,

    And the post-its... EVERYWHERE! bathroom, kitchen, cars, work... it's becoming a bit much!

    1. Who would have ever thought post-its would be such a pilot wife thing?! Too funny!

  3. We send emails at the end of our days labeled something for that month (this month is Thanksgiving). In the email, it's just an on going list of my day or things to tell one another when we finally talk. It saves the post its for my to-do-before-he-is-home lists :)

  4. I am happy to hear of pilots wives happy in their relationships. This actually brings peace to me & I'm imagining that your husbands most likely work for great, reputable companies. My story was sadly much different. I tried to hard for mine to work out, but the company my guy works for (I'm also a flight attendant) I would say most of the pilots cheat on their wives. It has made me so sad & bitter because how horrible is it for me to watch these men pick up woman in front of me, brag about their escorts & when I've landed with their children & wives greet them at the airport with gifts & the pilots isually bring their families presents too. I have such high morals that this has made me so depressed. I can't say a word. I've made comments behind closed doors to the pilots at my disgust with how they deceive the people that love them & I've been belittled & discarded as soon as it's occurred. As far as the guy I was with, he's sadly an alcoholic & I've also discovered he is a hoarder & he became abudive, which has nothing to do with most pilots, but I do know he enjoys the company he keeps with the group he works with. They all like talking about the escorts & the cocaine binges & picking up girls in Vegas & especially South America. Mine would shit his phone off at night when he was in other countries & he was very private about a lot of things. I even found an escort search on his iPad, but he denied that & focused on how insecure I am that I would even look at his iPad. Ive been pretty depressed through all I've gone through & witnessed with my own eyes what these men do & how they disrespect their families. I just feel relieved that there really are great marriages out there from reading your blog. Thank you so much for sharing.

  5. Sorry for the above misspelling, I typed too quickly on my phone.

  6. I believe a woman knows in her heart if a man is faithful it's why they say we have amazing intuition.... I think more so it's the women that are the problem and they hear the word pilot and start salivating. Men are men but if a man truly loves a woman and he has integrity he and a conscience he likes to live with then he will say no to the temptation. I know I do. Besides some men don't want to lose a good thing for a momentary fling. Truth is like grass it always peaks thru the cement sooner or later.


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