Wednesday, March 11, 2015

My Superpower

Do you want to know what my super power is?

Well, maybe it isn't a super power, but it is something that I do that I think is pretty cool.  Some may say weird.  There are certain people that I come across in a regular day where, in my mind, I instantly form their entire life.  All within a couple seconds I think of: where they live, what their family dynamic is, what their job is, what social circle they are in, ect.  

I don't work my super power on everyone, just the people that strike me so.  I would say this happens maybe once a month, or so.  The latest was just this evening, as we were driving home after Cici's dance class.

Let me set the picture a bit before I go into my super power experience from tonight.  Steve left for a trip yesterday, and I miss him like crazy.  There are a couple factors that play into that.  He was off for 17 days straight at the beginning of the month.  He really knows how to bid, and with vacation this month he was able to maximize his schedule.  During that 17 days we had a great vacation, and you know how hard it is to have your man leave after a high.



In addition to his 17 days off, he only had two days off between his last 4-day and this one.  To the non-aviation people reading this post and think "well, I am only off for two days, Saturday and Sunday...that should be plenty of time": you can kiss my ass.  And Steve's ass, and all the other aviation people that side with me.  Two days are just not enough time to reconnect with your pilot, nor him reconnect with his family.  

To boot, Steve left for this trip on a Sunday.  Him working on Sunday is always the hardest day of the week for him to be gone.  Sunday is a family day, not a day to spend apart from your partner.  And to top this all off, we had really good sex the night before he left for this last trip.  Talk about leaving after a high, which makes it all the harder to say goodbye. 

So as I established, I was missing Steve like crazy.  There has been a constant chatter in my head, over the last couple days, about how I missed Steve and couldn't wait until he got home.  When a pilot wife has that chatter in her head, she carries a melancholy mood to her. She may play certain songs. Mine being Van Morrison, Sweet Thing, at the moment.  Maybe she will send more texts than usual to her man.

Or, maybe she will see something and work her super power...

After Cici's dance class, the kids and I piled into the car and set off for home.  I made the comment, as we were leaving the parking lot, that it was still light out.  What a wonderful sign that Spring is right around the corner, despite the -5F temperatures.  I took a right out of the parking lot, onto the main road.

We passed the pizza place where we ordered from Friday night.  Steve was home Friday, and due to the cancellation of Polish School for the kids, we had friends over.  The kids played while the adults talked and drank beer.  It was a really nice evening.  

As I made a point of the pizza place, I noticed a man walking to his car holding a pizza box.  This is where my super power kicked in.  In a matter of seconds, this man's life played out in my mind.

It was 6:23p.  He was driving a late model Jeep Grand Cherokee.  He was wearing a long wool dress coat, black.  If he wasn't wearing a suit underneath, he was at least wearing a tie.  His hair was dark, and conservatively styled.  The town we live in is full of middle/upper management types, and I immediately pinned him as just that.  His wife stays at home.  She called him at 4p, totally freaking out.  She was having a really bad day with the kids, and just needed to talk it out.  His remedy to the situation? "Honey, I will stop on my way home and get a pizza for dinner.  That way you won't have worry about fixing dinner. I will be home by 6:30."

This made me miss Steve that much more.

I want to be able to call Steve and have him come to the rescue, and know it will only be a matter of hours, until I see him again.  

This made me wish I had a husband home every night.

This made me sad that my husband isn't home every night.

Us pilot wives think this...more often than one may think.

When I was a little girl I never thought that I wanted to be married to the man of my dreams...who happened to be gone four days a week.  I always thought that I would be married to a man that worked 9-5, just like my Father worked.  I thought my life would be just like the dynamic that I grew up with.

Steve and I have been married for almost 13 years now.

Quite often, I used to wish that my husband was home every night.  Now, I think about it from time to time, mostly when I miss him.  I am sure that through the years, this questioning will be even more infrequent.

I think it is all a matter of adjustment...adjustment from what I thought married life was going to be like, to what married life actually is when married to an airline pilot.

The adjustments started shortly after I met Steve.

When Steve and I started dating, it was all fun and exciting, which was enough to overshadow any issues about dating a pilot.  The adjustments were little at first, like missing a date night because he was delayed 3 hours.  Over the next couple of months and years, as our relationship grew, adjustments were made to what I thought were normal relationship dynamics.

Can't make it to my sorority dance? Ok. 

You won't be around for Friday night date night? Sucks.  How about Monday night?

Wait, you are going to miss Christmas? Crap.

You better work your bidding magic to get our wedding off! 

I'm ovulating. and you aren't around. Trying will have to wait until next month. 

Honey, I am having contractions.  You better call your chief pilot and get home!

You are going to miss his first birthday. 

Little by little I grew to really grasp Steve presence, and lack thereof, in my life.  Over time, you learn to adjust to being with a pilot.   Little by little you manage the life that is in front of you. You learn how to cope.  Little by little, your reality unfolds. Little by little, you grow to accept this as your life.

Even though I accept this as my life, I still question it...especially on a night where you have a picture perfect example of a family where the husband is home every night staring you in the face, and all you want is to have your husband home.





1 comment:

  1. I can relate! But then I think of all those times he rushes home to engulf me in a hug and tell me how much he missed me, of the thoughtful things he gets me on his trips like kitchen towel and strawberries and cheese (things I need!), and how we can never take each other for granted...and I feel happy :) I know our chances of getting bored with each other is low because there's always so much to catch up on and things to do together in the short time alone, and I know he appreciates everything I do back home more because he can't be there to help me. I think that part of the relationship dynamic makes us pilot wives lucky! But yes, nights like today, I miss him like mad. But counting the hours till I see him tomorrow :)

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