Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Listen to the whispers

Black, suede, Cole Haan booties.

"Talk me out of them," I emailed my sister. "I just spent $200 on lamps, tell me I don't need them."

"Sorry, can't do that," she said. "Cole Haan for less than $100? I have to tell you to go for them."

"You are such a bad influence!" and with that I ordered the booties. With Amazon Prime they were supposed to be delivered in 2 days. Well, 3 days for Cole Haan due to extra processing time. Due to be delivered on Friday. Perfect. Just in time for my holiday dinner on Saturday.

Friday night, as I was driving out of the neighborhood to take the kids to Polish School I noticed the UPS truck. I noticed that he hadn't stopped at our house, and was past it. Wait, he should have had something for me!

A bit past 6p, I got the Amazon notice on my phone that the package has an attempted delivery at 5:13p, and will be redelivered on Monday.

Bullshit! I was home at 5:13pm. The driver was smoking crack. After a 20 minute conversation with a helpful Amazon customer service agent, I recognized that I wouldn't be getting my booties by Saturday evening. The outfit I had planned in my head wouldn't happen. At first I was quite pissed. But, this happened to be the day a gunman shot and killed people in the Fort Lauderdale airport. I got over myself pretty quickly.

I had a pair of black suede pumps at home that would perfectly compliment my outfit. The botched delivery was simply a whisper telling me that I didn't need the booties anyway. Make due with that you have.

***

I have made it known that my love language is physical touch. When the world gets busy, like around the holidays and when we have guests in our home, my love tank can drain a bit.

I have grown to tell Steve about my emptying love tank. I used to wait until it was fully drained, and then stew and stew over the fact that it was empty. And then I would unleash all that pent up pissed-off-ness. It was a bad situation. I am much better at alerting Steve when it needs filled. I am much better at not allowing my tank to get fully to E. It isn't always easy to tell Steve, because I want him to know my needs. I want him to read my mind. I want him to know my needs before I know them. I want my tank to constantly be full. But, with the realities of our life (traveling husband, and just general busyness) sometimes love tank work falls to the wayside...on both our sides.

I told Steve about my emptying tank the other day. That didn't go over well. His response wasn't what I was looking for, which set me off. I walked out of the house that morning, to go to work, without our usual hug and kiss. I just needed to leave. If I stayed for that hug and kiss I was either going to cry or punch him in the face. Neither of which were ideal. Leaving was the best route.

That day was the pits. I was upset. When I got home I was upset. It is never good when you are pissy with your spouse. Steve and I have a level marriage, meaning it isn't very often where we are pissy with one another. So, when we are, it takes its toll on the both of us.

The kids got home from school, and soon enough the kids and I were off to the church for our weekly dose of PSR (parish school of religion). I teach my youngest daughter's class. The lesson for the class couldn't have been any better timed. The lesson: listen to the whispers.

In a religious point of view, God will speak to you...it is up to you to listen and do as He asks. God asked Noah to build an arc. Noah listened, and did.

Now, push this teaching into your home and your marriage...listen to those whispers.


**

We bought new family room furniture. It wasn't cheap. Steve worked extra in December to help offset the cost of the furniture. He was flying a lot. Oh, and let's add the fact that with the new furniture comes new projects in said family room. Like installing a new fireplace mantel, reconfiguring the stereo speakers, and mounting the tv above the fireplace. Oh, and let's not forget about Christmas and constant travel for three days. This all takes time, and by months end Steve was exhausted. Like, really exhausted. So much so that he voiced how he just needed a break.

I may have laughed in his face when he said he needed a break. Break? With young kids? And with him traveling every week, thus condensing all family/home life in just 3 days a week? Ha!

My laugh didn't go over too well. Why? Because I didn't listen to Steve's whisper. Well, it wasn't quiet a whisper as much as a direct comment to me. But, either way he expressed himself and I ignored him.

**

Why do I bring this all up? Because I learned a lot from these experiences, and of course I want to share to all my readers. It is important to listen to those whispers around you, no matter how quiet or loud, and really take it to heart. When I am lying on top of Steve at night, that should clue him into my need to fill my love tank. (Attack of the 155 pound woman) When Steve voices to me that he is exhausted, I need to not schedule anything for him to do on his next set of days off, and just let him be.

If your wife mentions that she needs to get her roots done, then maybe make the appointment for her and tell her you will watch the kids. If your husband mentions that the house is messy, perhaps try your best to straighten it up before he gets home from his next trip.

Life is busy. Life is loud. But, take the time to listen to things around you. Take those whispers and act. Don't ignore them.

**

To close the story from that Monday, PSR class really lightened my mood. The kids are so sweet, and we had a great lesson. On our way home, the kids wanted Mexican fried ice cream for dinner. Any slight suggestion about eating out and I am all over it. Any excuse to not cook works for me! I called Steve on our way home, and suggested eating out. He accepted. Plus, he is usually gone on Monday evenings...sometimes a break from the norm is fun. We picked him up, and headed out. On our way into town I reached for his hand and held it. Such a slight little action, and it cleared the air. My heart was light. We had a really nice dinner. Just what the doctor ordered! And what a good lesson to have learned from all this.

can't everyone fit a straw between their two front teeth? 



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