Turning the tables
I work. Not all pilot wives do, but I do. Aside from 8-weeks of maternity leave for each kid, I've always worked.
I rarely travel for work, maybe once or twice a year. I recently got back from a work conference that took me to the west coast. All in all it was a good conference. Steve had a week of vacation that bled into two weeks off, which meant that he was the one caring for the kiddos while I was gone. It also meant that he had a pretty stellar beard. Which also meant that he left me little whiskers in the shower the morning he left for his next trip. What a great way to leave little reminders of himself.
I thought it would be fun to reverse the perspective with this post...turning the tables, the traveling pilot wife.
I flew out Wednesday morning. I got home late Saturday evening.
On Tuesday night Steve started to prepare the kids items for school. In short the kids take the following food items to school each day:
- water bottle
- snack for the classroom
- packed lunch for Cici. Ben buys school lunches. Go ahead judge me, I don't care. I'm all about balance. I just make sure to prepare good foods at home.
As I sat at the kitchen island the night before I left, the following words actually came out of my mouth, "do you really not know this? Do you pay attention, at all, when you're home?" You see, Steve was asking me about everything: what water-bottle, what snack, is this enough food for lunch, ect. ect. If Steve is home during the week, he will mosey-on down to the kitchen around 8am...while the kids are eating breakfast. It's worth noting that I've already been up for 1 1/2 hours, taken the dogs on a walk, fed the dogs, meditated/worked out, packed snacks/lunches, got the kids up and dressed, and prepared breakfast.
What, where was I?
Oh, so Steve will come down around 8am, pour some coffee, and sit at the island along with the kids. Apparently, he doesn't pay attention to my actions. So, he had to prep, for sure.
The morning I left, Steve was up and dressed at 7am. The kids got up as normal, and then it was time for me to leave. I kissed Steve and the kids goodbye and was on my way. Oh, he did make me an egg burrito, which was very kind of him.
When I got to the airport I asked Steve is Ben took his sax to school. Nope. Forgot. So, Steve had to drive that out to school.
Steve did go to Cici's dance parent-observation that night, which is something I missed the month prior, so that was a plus.
All in all, Steve did great. He played Mr. Mom for a couple days and handled it well. Sure, the sax didn't get to school as planned, but it worked out. Ben missed a homework assignment, but that is 1/2 on Ben. But, the kids were fed, alive, and clean. I'm trying to be funny. I realize Steve is beyond capable.
In fact, the kids actually told me a couple times that Dad is better with breakfast. And Steve told me that the kids weren't pushing his buttons, like they do mine. After all that feedback, I'm all like, "well, great...Dad can handle everything!" I'll sleep in until 8 everything morning!
Here are a couple takeaways from my trip, and good reminders for us pilot wives. I recognize that I get into a rut, and with my own busy-ness, I can forget:
- getting pictures on the road is simply wonderful. I don't always do this. I appreciated the pictures, and I'm sure Steve would appreciate some pictures just the same.
- having a meal when I got home was great! While waiting for my flight home, I had a big-ass burrito at the airport, and didn't eat until I got home. Which was actually probably okay, since I connected in the mountains. I've learned that I.do.not.travel.well around mountains! I'm not one to get motion sickness much, we own a boat for heaven sake. But, something about mountains. Oh, and thermals...my body was not happy going into Vegas mid-summer - I was sick that entire day. Steve had beer, wine, sushi, and a super great cheese dip waiting for me when I got in. It was perfect! Admittedly, I do have a meal ready for Steve when he gets home. So, this isn't something that I need to work on, but it's a good reminder to others.
- it's nice to come home to a clean house that is calm. When I got home, I was greeting with hugs and kisses from the freshly showered kids. It was great. They greeted me, and then escaped back to whatever they were doing. After a long travel day, coming back to peace was just what I needed.
- I realize that our life would be a lot easier if I didn't work. I'm joking...kind of. I would call Steve when I was on a break from sessions and we actually had conversations. The flip is when he calls me when he's on the road...and I'm at work and busy or distracted to give him proper attention. Or, he'll call when I'm cooking dinner and the dogs are barking and the kids are beating up on one another. We don't talk much when he's on the road, simply because our schedules just don't match up that well.
Steve had time during the day to do all the things that I normally try to cramp into a couple hours in the evening. If I didn't work, I'd like to think I would have the same done. I would run errands while the kids are at school, I would clean the house like it deserves, I would have meals prepared the old-school way (less prepared foods and take out), and laundry would be done. Dream world, right?!
***
To switch gears a bit, and to pull in the last couple blog posts I've written, it's been about 4 months since my mom's passing. I have my moments where grief just washes over me and I can't hold back the tears. Lately, I've been feeling rather 'eh'. Neither good or bad. Just kind of 'eh'...crawling into bed around 8:30...not really motivated to do much...just going through the motions....taking naps...watching movies...ordering take out for dinner too often...not taking phone calls...not returning emails. I could go on. I don't cry all that much in my grieving, rather I just, sort of, disconnect.
Easter is going to suck. Mother's Day is going to suck. Our cruise to Alaska in June is going to suck.
These are all things that she was supposed to be a part of. I find it hard to deal with events where she is supposed to be a part of.
We've gone through my mom's closet. It took about three months for my dad to give us the "go ahead." I took a pair of gold hoop earring, and the family tree necklace she wore with the birthstones of each of the grandkids. Someone will certainly benefit from the nice clothes and shoes that were donated.
My dad said that there is a garden that is behind my mom's plot. He never noticed it before, but now that spring has sprung there are a number of flowers coming up. This is fitting since gardening was a huge part of her life. One of the best parts of gardening is watching the fruits of your labor. It's best to share that with someone. My dad has remarked how hard it is to not share that with someone.
Grieving is a process. Ups and down. Take the good days, just get through the bad.
And God bless the man I married. I tell you, when you go through these significant life events like the death of a parent your marriage is tested. No question. I'm sure Steve is sick of carrying the weight he's been carrying the last number of months, but he doesn't say a word. He's a good man. I am blessed to be loved like he loves me. "Through good and bad," right? When you're so young and new into a relationship, yes even 4 years is new into a relationship, marriage vows may just be words exchanged, a promise for the future. The vows are tested as life carries on. You look back and understand the importance of those words. You look back and are thankful to be so lucky in love at such a young age.
"This, too, shall pass." I'll get back to myself one of these days. I take that back, after losing my mom I'll never be the same, but I'll get back to my new self one of these days.
In time, I'll find the joy that life brings.
I rarely travel for work, maybe once or twice a year. I recently got back from a work conference that took me to the west coast. All in all it was a good conference. Steve had a week of vacation that bled into two weeks off, which meant that he was the one caring for the kiddos while I was gone. It also meant that he had a pretty stellar beard. Which also meant that he left me little whiskers in the shower the morning he left for his next trip. What a great way to leave little reminders of himself.
I thought it would be fun to reverse the perspective with this post...turning the tables, the traveling pilot wife.
I flew out Wednesday morning. I got home late Saturday evening.
On Tuesday night Steve started to prepare the kids items for school. In short the kids take the following food items to school each day:
- water bottle
- snack for the classroom
- packed lunch for Cici. Ben buys school lunches. Go ahead judge me, I don't care. I'm all about balance. I just make sure to prepare good foods at home.
As I sat at the kitchen island the night before I left, the following words actually came out of my mouth, "do you really not know this? Do you pay attention, at all, when you're home?" You see, Steve was asking me about everything: what water-bottle, what snack, is this enough food for lunch, ect. ect. If Steve is home during the week, he will mosey-on down to the kitchen around 8am...while the kids are eating breakfast. It's worth noting that I've already been up for 1 1/2 hours, taken the dogs on a walk, fed the dogs, meditated/worked out, packed snacks/lunches, got the kids up and dressed, and prepared breakfast.
What, where was I?
Oh, so Steve will come down around 8am, pour some coffee, and sit at the island along with the kids. Apparently, he doesn't pay attention to my actions. So, he had to prep, for sure.
The morning I left, Steve was up and dressed at 7am. The kids got up as normal, and then it was time for me to leave. I kissed Steve and the kids goodbye and was on my way. Oh, he did make me an egg burrito, which was very kind of him.
When I got to the airport I asked Steve is Ben took his sax to school. Nope. Forgot. So, Steve had to drive that out to school.
Steve did go to Cici's dance parent-observation that night, which is something I missed the month prior, so that was a plus.
All in all, Steve did great. He played Mr. Mom for a couple days and handled it well. Sure, the sax didn't get to school as planned, but it worked out. Ben missed a homework assignment, but that is 1/2 on Ben. But, the kids were fed, alive, and clean. I'm trying to be funny. I realize Steve is beyond capable.
In fact, the kids actually told me a couple times that Dad is better with breakfast. And Steve told me that the kids weren't pushing his buttons, like they do mine. After all that feedback, I'm all like, "well, great...Dad can handle everything!" I'll sleep in until 8 everything morning!
Here are a couple takeaways from my trip, and good reminders for us pilot wives. I recognize that I get into a rut, and with my own busy-ness, I can forget:
- getting pictures on the road is simply wonderful. I don't always do this. I appreciated the pictures, and I'm sure Steve would appreciate some pictures just the same.
 |
| taking the dogs on a walk |
 |
| Ben riding to a boy scout service project |
- having a meal when I got home was great! While waiting for my flight home, I had a big-ass burrito at the airport, and didn't eat until I got home. Which was actually probably okay, since I connected in the mountains. I've learned that I.do.not.travel.well around mountains! I'm not one to get motion sickness much, we own a boat for heaven sake. But, something about mountains. Oh, and thermals...my body was not happy going into Vegas mid-summer - I was sick that entire day. Steve had beer, wine, sushi, and a super great cheese dip waiting for me when I got in. It was perfect! Admittedly, I do have a meal ready for Steve when he gets home. So, this isn't something that I need to work on, but it's a good reminder to others.
- it's nice to come home to a clean house that is calm. When I got home, I was greeting with hugs and kisses from the freshly showered kids. It was great. They greeted me, and then escaped back to whatever they were doing. After a long travel day, coming back to peace was just what I needed.
- I realize that our life would be a lot easier if I didn't work. I'm joking...kind of. I would call Steve when I was on a break from sessions and we actually had conversations. The flip is when he calls me when he's on the road...and I'm at work and busy or distracted to give him proper attention. Or, he'll call when I'm cooking dinner and the dogs are barking and the kids are beating up on one another. We don't talk much when he's on the road, simply because our schedules just don't match up that well.
Steve had time during the day to do all the things that I normally try to cramp into a couple hours in the evening. If I didn't work, I'd like to think I would have the same done. I would run errands while the kids are at school, I would clean the house like it deserves, I would have meals prepared the old-school way (less prepared foods and take out), and laundry would be done. Dream world, right?!
***
To switch gears a bit, and to pull in the last couple blog posts I've written, it's been about 4 months since my mom's passing. I have my moments where grief just washes over me and I can't hold back the tears. Lately, I've been feeling rather 'eh'. Neither good or bad. Just kind of 'eh'...crawling into bed around 8:30...not really motivated to do much...just going through the motions....taking naps...watching movies...ordering take out for dinner too often...not taking phone calls...not returning emails. I could go on. I don't cry all that much in my grieving, rather I just, sort of, disconnect.
Easter is going to suck. Mother's Day is going to suck. Our cruise to Alaska in June is going to suck.
 |
| 2006, our last cruise to Alaska. We went on a dog sled excursion. |
We've gone through my mom's closet. It took about three months for my dad to give us the "go ahead." I took a pair of gold hoop earring, and the family tree necklace she wore with the birthstones of each of the grandkids. Someone will certainly benefit from the nice clothes and shoes that were donated.
My dad said that there is a garden that is behind my mom's plot. He never noticed it before, but now that spring has sprung there are a number of flowers coming up. This is fitting since gardening was a huge part of her life. One of the best parts of gardening is watching the fruits of your labor. It's best to share that with someone. My dad has remarked how hard it is to not share that with someone.
Grieving is a process. Ups and down. Take the good days, just get through the bad.
And God bless the man I married. I tell you, when you go through these significant life events like the death of a parent your marriage is tested. No question. I'm sure Steve is sick of carrying the weight he's been carrying the last number of months, but he doesn't say a word. He's a good man. I am blessed to be loved like he loves me. "Through good and bad," right? When you're so young and new into a relationship, yes even 4 years is new into a relationship, marriage vows may just be words exchanged, a promise for the future. The vows are tested as life carries on. You look back and understand the importance of those words. You look back and are thankful to be so lucky in love at such a young age.
"This, too, shall pass." I'll get back to myself one of these days. I take that back, after losing my mom I'll never be the same, but I'll get back to my new self one of these days.
In time, I'll find the joy that life brings.
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