Easy to forget
Guys, I actually have a pilot wife blog post for you. Can you believe it?! It's been far too long! Here goes...
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Gotta love Facebook memories, am I right? I love the throwback to all the cute pictures from when the kids were little. In fact, I post pictures on Facebook now purposefully so that they come back to me in years to come.
This picture popped up the other day from 2011:
The caption:
Weekend with a husband at home means a getaway...at the boat tonight...
The picture made me think... "weekend with a husband at home..." Steve used to work every weekend. If he, by the luck of the scheduling gods, was home on a weekend, it was actually worthy of a post.
It sucked. In 2011, the kids were 2 and 4.
They were this little in 2011. Babies!
Raising babies and toddlers was incredibly challenging as a solo-parent. When I needed my husband the most, he was working. Perhaps this is when I started drinking wine with frequency.
This all made me think about how shitty life was back then, in terms of those long weekends without your partner. How he would miss weekend parties and events. How it was all me on those LONGGGG weekends, with no breaks, with toddlers. Babies don't talk. If your partner is out of the house it means the house is quiet. A quiet house means the days are long. This was right around the time I started blogging. Blogging was my way to release all the frustrations about being a pilot wife raising little kiddos. I needed that release.
It was exhausting. It tested me.
Now that we are eight years away from that Facebook picture, guess what? I forget how bad it was. Just like a mother forgets the pain that comes with childbirth, I've forgotten the pain that comes with being a solo-parent with itty-bitty kiddos.
I've forgotten the pain that came with having a husband work on the weekends...miss holidays...miss birthdays...anniversaries...should I go on?
And let me tell you, forgetting the pain is a very good thing. If I didn't, there would be lots of resentment in our marriage. You don't want resentment in a marriage. That's very dangerous. I don't carry resentment because Steve wasn't always around. I've chosen to move forward from any dark place.
Perhaps the other part of this whole 'forgetting about the bad stuff' is that I'm pretty good at letting shit go. I'm the youngest of three girls. My oldest sister is only three years older than me. Read: I got what I got growing up, and I didn't have much say in things. I went with the flow. How did this translate to me as an adult? Shit rolls off my back, and I don't let things get to me. Nature/nurture, who knows exactly, but my childhood certainly enhanced the character.
Plus, I don't care to have toxic shit or hate in my life. That shit can eat away at you. I've matured into letting things go. I CHOOSE to not have toxic and hate be a part of my life. I've dealt with things in my life that haven't been easy, but I choose to not let those bad things be more than a memory.
Life is good now, in terms of Steve's work schedule. He's off on weekends. He holds something like 18 days off a month. He drives to his pilot base, a short 40 minutes away. He's likely to get holidays off. Life is about as good as it gets right now, and I'm not afraid of saying that out loud in fear that things will change. Steve has worked hard to get where he is right now. I've certainly worked hard and sacrificed, too. I want to embrace this time, and recognize all the time and energy it took to get here. This is our reward.
This post isn't long, but the point is strong. You go through a lot of shit as a pilot wife. The lows are low, but the highs are high. Just get through the shitty parts. Don't hold on. Learn. Grow. Adapt. And ultimately embrace the good times...you've earned it.
Will shitty happen again? I'm sure. I'm sure his base will close at some point in the future, which will force him into commuting. We've told ourselves that we will stay put until the kids graduate from high school. But, we'll deal with what comes our way. We've done it before, and we can certainly do it again. And when shitty does happen again, we'll get through it...and then soon forget how bad it was.
***
Gotta love Facebook memories, am I right? I love the throwback to all the cute pictures from when the kids were little. In fact, I post pictures on Facebook now purposefully so that they come back to me in years to come.
This picture popped up the other day from 2011:
The caption:
Weekend with a husband at home means a getaway...at the boat tonight...
The picture made me think... "weekend with a husband at home..." Steve used to work every weekend. If he, by the luck of the scheduling gods, was home on a weekend, it was actually worthy of a post.
It sucked. In 2011, the kids were 2 and 4.
They were this little in 2011. Babies!
Raising babies and toddlers was incredibly challenging as a solo-parent. When I needed my husband the most, he was working. Perhaps this is when I started drinking wine with frequency.
This all made me think about how shitty life was back then, in terms of those long weekends without your partner. How he would miss weekend parties and events. How it was all me on those LONGGGG weekends, with no breaks, with toddlers. Babies don't talk. If your partner is out of the house it means the house is quiet. A quiet house means the days are long. This was right around the time I started blogging. Blogging was my way to release all the frustrations about being a pilot wife raising little kiddos. I needed that release.
It was exhausting. It tested me.
Now that we are eight years away from that Facebook picture, guess what? I forget how bad it was. Just like a mother forgets the pain that comes with childbirth, I've forgotten the pain that comes with being a solo-parent with itty-bitty kiddos.
I've forgotten the pain that came with having a husband work on the weekends...miss holidays...miss birthdays...anniversaries...should I go on?
And let me tell you, forgetting the pain is a very good thing. If I didn't, there would be lots of resentment in our marriage. You don't want resentment in a marriage. That's very dangerous. I don't carry resentment because Steve wasn't always around. I've chosen to move forward from any dark place.
Perhaps the other part of this whole 'forgetting about the bad stuff' is that I'm pretty good at letting shit go. I'm the youngest of three girls. My oldest sister is only three years older than me. Read: I got what I got growing up, and I didn't have much say in things. I went with the flow. How did this translate to me as an adult? Shit rolls off my back, and I don't let things get to me. Nature/nurture, who knows exactly, but my childhood certainly enhanced the character.
Plus, I don't care to have toxic shit or hate in my life. That shit can eat away at you. I've matured into letting things go. I CHOOSE to not have toxic and hate be a part of my life. I've dealt with things in my life that haven't been easy, but I choose to not let those bad things be more than a memory.
Life is good now, in terms of Steve's work schedule. He's off on weekends. He holds something like 18 days off a month. He drives to his pilot base, a short 40 minutes away. He's likely to get holidays off. Life is about as good as it gets right now, and I'm not afraid of saying that out loud in fear that things will change. Steve has worked hard to get where he is right now. I've certainly worked hard and sacrificed, too. I want to embrace this time, and recognize all the time and energy it took to get here. This is our reward.
This post isn't long, but the point is strong. You go through a lot of shit as a pilot wife. The lows are low, but the highs are high. Just get through the shitty parts. Don't hold on. Learn. Grow. Adapt. And ultimately embrace the good times...you've earned it.
Will shitty happen again? I'm sure. I'm sure his base will close at some point in the future, which will force him into commuting. We've told ourselves that we will stay put until the kids graduate from high school. But, we'll deal with what comes our way. We've done it before, and we can certainly do it again. And when shitty does happen again, we'll get through it...and then soon forget how bad it was.
Joanna. I have been reading your blogs for a while, they always help when I need to hear something that so very few people understand. Nobody knows what it's like to be a pilot's wife. Husband is getting ready to go to mainline soon, schedule right now is great at the regional, but it's time for his big step and I KNOW and YOU KNOW what that means, reserve, unknown base, shitty schedule coming up completely out of your control, yeah, but HEY! He'll be in mainline. We have a 2 year old.... thank you because your post reminds me that there will be light at the end of the tunnel and it's all for a good reason. He deserves it all
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