Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Home

If you have ever heard the Michael Buble song "Home" you will understand what it is like to be an airline pilot.

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home


May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know



And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home


Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not

Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know


Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

 
Why do I mention this song?  Well, the other night I was talking to Steve about his Captain, who was apparently a cool guy.  They ate dinner each night together on the trip, which doesn't always happen.  When he does get a slam-clicker Captain I always think of the line "May be surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone."  Eating dinner alone isn't fun, and if you have to do it three nights in a row it is triple the no fun.  When he gets to hang out with his Captain for dinner it always makes me happy...it makes me feel like he isn't so alone. 
 
 
A while ago Steve had an overnight in Cabo...how cool?!  Well, not really.  We were talking about Cabo and he said something to the effect of "the beach was beautiful, but what is the fun when you can't share it with anyone."  Again, the line "may be surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone" comes to mind. 


The last verse that really hits home is:
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

There are plenty of times, like the other night, where we talk so little that our words are cold and flat.  Ben was up watching a movie until about 8:30pm, then I did a bit of gardening, and then I was on the phone with my aunt until about 9:20pm or so.  I hung up with her and called Steve to talk about some house stuff (we need to add a shower in the soaking tub in our master bathroom).  He sounded groggy on the phone. "Were you sleeping?" I asked.  "I am getting there" he replied.  His van was something like 5am, so he went to bed early.  We didn't have much conversation at all since he needed to sleep.  So yes, our words were cold and flat.  This happens...it is part of the gig and we are both used to it.  We just have to make up for that time lost when he is home.  My favorite is when he gets home at 8pm...the kids are asleep, and I am still wide awake.  We just sit in the family room with a bottle of beer or a glass of wine and talk and talk and talk.  As I have mentioned before, so much can happen when he is away that it is important that we reconnect like this.

I am thankful that Steve has us to come home to.  When Steve and I first met we dated a couple months and I broke things off for a couple months.  At that time Steve started to fly for a regional airline and one Captain he flew with was 50-something, never married and lived in his sister's basement.  He feared that this was going to be his life - being alone.  Thankfully, I got my wits about me, we started dating again and we haven't looked back since. 

I think about the pilots that I know that are divorced, and I feel for them (one specially comes to mind...he is the nicest guy in the world, and his wife cheated on him.  They have two kids together).  I think about him, and what it must be like to be alone on the road, and then alone when he gets home.  I know he is an active father so he has his kids in his life, but one needs a partner to share life with. 

This post has taken on a melancholy tone, but I suppose the song is quite melancholy.  Here is to all the slam-clicker pilots: hang out with your crew (assuming rest allows you to).  Here is to all the divorced pilots: you will find the perfect spouse who will make your life worth living.  Here is to Steve: you may be far from us in distance, but you are never alone.     

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