Wednesday, December 1, 2010

time to heal takes twice as long, right?

Steve got home from a 4-day trip on Monday.  Remember this post? Well, it sort of happened again.

I have to admit that we have been sort of "off" the last couple of weeks.  We are fine, but just "off."  I get pissed at him that he doesn't know where the purple rubbermaid pitcher is, and he gets pissed that I leave my purse on the countertop. Little shit...stupid shit...and if you are in a relationship, you know what I am talking about.  I know no one has a marriage where you are hunky-dorey 100% of the time.  And if you say you are always happy, I know you are lying. 
Back to Monday: that night, as I was driving around trying to find welcome lights for our windows, I got to thinking...since Steve was home 43% of the week (he was working a lot), does that mean it takes that much longer to heal from things?

Since we have been "off" for about, say, two weeks now, let's translate that into our time.  2 weeks = 14 days.  But since he has been gone 43% of the time, that equals only 6 days where he is home.  That means we have been "off" for only 6 days...which doesn't sound so bad.

Still with me?

Good.

Let's continue...in that 14 days period, he has 6 days at home, and there were two trips in that span.  So, we have two days of preparing for a trip, and two days of adjusting from him coming home from a trip.

Let me explain the prep days and the adjusting days.  On the prep days I do all the shopping I need to in order to NOT have to shop when he is gone.  That means groceries, dog food, diapers, ect.  I have to make sure all the laundry is done so he has clean underwear to pack, or clean shorts to wear while in some tropical climate.  Meanwhile, Steve is doing all the things he needs before he leaves.  That means paying bills, fixing the trash can, putting up Christmas lights, ect.  It really does take an entire day to prep for him leaving.

As for the adjusting days, it really does take a day to get back into the swing of things.  It is hard to explain, but it is true.  With young kids our routine can change in a day, and if Steve is gone that day than he has to adjust quickly to the change when it comes home.  We have our routine when he is gone, and we all have to adjust to Steve being home.

So, in that 14 day period, we really only leaeves us 2 days of face-to-face time where we can actually talk about our woes.  That isn't very much time at all.

Yes, a couple could reconcile over the phone. But, Steve had a couple 0'dark hundred shows (read: early to bed and early to rise) and an international overnight (read: no phone coverage) to boot.  This last trip we really just didn't talk much on the phone at all.  We just didn't have time.

He is home now for a decent stretch.  So, we will have plenty of time to reset ourselves and go from being "off" to being hunky-dorey :)

As a side, I know everyone likes pictures and since I don't have one that relates to this post, here is the next best thing...my two cuties:

6 comments:

  1. Awww, hang in there! I totally get the disconnect. Is it terrible to say that sometimes it's just easier when he is gone and you have your own routine in terms of the little things? Still, of course, I love having him home too, but I know exactly what you mean when things get off. I'm sure you'll be back on the upswing soon!

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  2. I hear you, my husband came home after 10 days being gone and he has been here for 6 we have one more day. I am starting to get ready for packing tomorrow today with laundry and stuff, to top things of our little boy has a virus and has been sick with fever the entire time daddy has been home so we are completely "off" tired from lack of sleep and worry. With small children the adjustment is longer especially when there are things going on like holidays or a sicky baby. Your experience I think is shared by many of us. Thank you for putting it out there. I know that after a low there is always a high so just get ready to enjoy the high that is coming your way ;0)

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  3. Okay- first of all, every picture you post of CC just makes me want to squeeze her cheeks...I mean, can you really get much cuter than that? And, the picture of the two of them holding hands - adorable!!!

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  4. Brittney - no, it isn't terrible...it is true for al of us :)

    Aggie - hope your little one is feeling better soon!

    Ruth - thanks for the CC love. Don't know where she gets those cheeks, but I love them too :)

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  5. I just recently started following and so glad that I found this post. My regional pilot and I have been dating for a year and I'm still adjusting to his weird schedule...and making sure the laundry is done before he leaves on another trip. :) Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone!

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  6. Amber - the best thing we can do is support one another! No, we aren't alone, so we need each other :)

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