Friday, July 22, 2011

Expectations

Expectations. 


When it comes to the life of a pilot, you have to roll with the punches a lot.  We learn, to a certain extent, to not set our expectations too high.  We have all had situations where we expected something, our expectations weren't met, and we got pissed/upset/hurt.

Changes in a schedule always sucks.  With Steve being a line holder we don't have too many surprise trips that pop up, so it isn't often where Steve has to work when we aren't expecting it...which is the worst.  If anything, he will get a trip bought back from him, which means he doesn't have to work, but still gets paid...which is the best.

It is the WORST to think that your pilot is coming home on Thursday, but doesn't make it until Friday because of weather.  Or, to think that your pilot is coming home at 4p, just in time to head to a party, but due to a mechanical delay he isn't home until 10p which means missing the entire party. 

At this point, I expect Steve to work on holidays, so when his schedule shows a 4-day that spans over Christmas it doesn't sting too badly. 

Rolling with the punches is one thing, but I find that when you expect one thing, but another thing happens, every emotion is magnified that much more.

*****
I have mentioned before that the day Steve gets home from a trip there is an air of excitement.  I usually straighten up the house and sweep the floors.  I try to have some food prepared that will satisfy a hungry belly, especially one that has been away for a couple days.  Ok, sometimes I will cheat and get take out, but dinner at home is still dinner at home. 

Steve just got back from a 5-day trip.  That was a long trip.  The kids and I had a busy weekend, so the time went by quickly for us.  Well, Ben got a bug and barfed on the way to school on Monday, so we had a quick change of plans.  CC went off to school, and I stayed home with my little patient.


I was glad to have Steve coming home.  I was looking forward to us sitting on the porch after all was settled, drinking beer, and just talking about the weekend.   I always like this time after trips...we don't/can't always talk that much during a trip, so that talking time is nice to catch up and reconnect.

Steve flight arrived about 10 minutes early.  Steve called to tell us he was in his car.  ETA 30 minutes.  Ben and I waited outside the last 10 minutes while we waited for his silver car to come down the hill. 

We spotted a silver car coming down the hill.  Daddy was home!

Ben always lights up when Daddy comes home after a trip.  What a warm fuzzy to see your son so excited to see his Daddy, and to listen to him talk and talk and talk and talk about everything.  Ben and Steve spent about 1/2 hour together and then it was Ben's bedtime.

Meanwhile I was relaxing in the toy room watching Sex and the City.

Steve was done with Ben, came down the stairs, and in a huff said "Ben doesn't know his numbers!"  Apparently they were reading a book and Ben wasn't showcasing his knowledge.

Buzz kill.

Steve continues to remark that Ben should know his numbers by now.  As a side, Ben does know his numbers, mostly.  Sure, he gets a 6 and 9 mixed up, and sometimes thinks an 8 is a 0, but he is THREE.  With each word that Steve spoke, the more the buzz was killed.

Steve went into the kitchen and invited me join him on the porch.  Um, that isn't gonna happen.

*****

I have mentioned it before, and it has happened again. Sometimes you want your pilot to go back where he came from.  Like the blog post before, I was having all the lovey-dovey thoughts about spending a nice evening with him - reconnecting.  And then a buzz kill happens.

This is all about expectations.  I set my expectations too high.  I kept having all these dreamy thoughts about having a nice evening with him, and just one little huff totally flipped my switch.  We all know men and women are different.  When my switch is flipped, when any women's switch is flipped, it takes time to flip it back.  Men can flip in no time.  Men don't understand that this takes time for a women.

Steve kept saying "please don't start my days home like this." Hey buddy, you are the one that started this. However, damage was done. 

Within an hour or so I was okay.  I did proceed to have a major breakdown later in the evening, but that is a whole different story.  Hell, I am sure after that breakdown Steve was probably wishing that he was going back to where he came him...for his sake.

If I set my expectations low, I suppose anything will be better than the low, which would be nice.  But, I would rather have dreamy thoughts about Steve, instead of thinking he is going to come home in a huff.  I guess I will get this buzz kill every once in a while, and deal.  Just another thing that is part of the lifestyle...

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