Tuesday, February 22, 2011

my lonely isn't so bad

After all these years, it finally hit me.  I am sure I have felt it before, but not like I did last night...I am not the only lonely one in this relationship. When I am lonely, I still have the comfort of: my children and my house...and my bed.  When I am lonely I miss Steve, but I have everything else in my life.  When Steve is lonely, he has the comfort of: all the contents in his roll-aboard? 

"Lonely" sure does come up a lot with this profession.  My first lonely post, and then there was sad trips, and lastly  "a day in the life of a pilot from my point of view".

I had off yesterday (Federal Holiday...oh yeah!) and my day was filled with a MD appointment for CC, a cry filled trip to the pharmacy, and then home for naps.  Mom moment: one of the best things in this world is rocking your sleeping child.  She was just so miserable, but when I was rocking her, smelling her breath, staring at her...I knew that all was right and peaceful in this world.  The afternoon into the evening was busy with the usual stuff. 

By 9:30p, I was in bed with all the lights were out.  Steve called to tell me he was in from Happy Hour.  He was in Vegas.  His CA's wife joined them on the trip, so Steve was solo at Happy Hour.  He mentioned this on the phone and I felt for him.  I wished so much that I could have transported instantly through the phone and been there with him. 

Don't get me wrong, most times Steve isn't too lonely on trips. His days are usually filled with plenty of duty and flight time.  If he has time for a decent dinner he usually has the company of his CA.  There are times when he has a sweet trip with a decent amount of down time at a hotel, which includes things like walking the city, hanging by the pool, working out, or having a couple drinks at the bar.  But, not last night.  He had lots of free time, and no one to share it with.  He is the first to admit that it is sometimes nice to lay in a room, watch tv, and just chill.  But, there is only so much chill time one can take, especially in a city that you have been to over and over again.

Now, there are times when Steve is out with his CA, and I am not so happy about it.  Maybe because I am surrounded by kids that are crying and fighting and the like.  All the while, Steve is out to a relaxing dinner with beer perhaps and adult conversation. And after a relaxing dinner and drinks he retires to a quiet room, sleeps with no interruptions and wakes on his own.  Meanwhile I am living the life of a single working mother...

But, when I get all huffed up about being a single mother yet again, I need to stop and think about the fact that Steve would rather be home than working. 

I need to stop and think about the fact that Steve is sacrificing himself for our family.  We would not be where we are today without his hard work and determination. 

When Steve misses another birthday or another holiday I need to think about him and not me.  I still have the kids and the comforts of our home...he doesn't. 
 


1 comment:

  1. What a great posts, my husband always says how much it sucks to be traveling all the time without any comforts of home with just the stuff in a suitcase. Great insight.

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