Balance

My birthday is September 25th.  I am a Libra.  It didn't dawn on me until I heard someone else say it just the other day: the symbol for Libra is the Scales, which represents balance.  This hit me like a ton of bricks.  In my 33 years, I never thought of this until just now.  I AM all about balance.

Lately I have been a little snippy with Steve.  Why?  Balance, or should I say the lack of balance.  I have been out of balance these last couple of weeks.  Does this really have anything to do with Steve?  Sometimes I blame him for something that isn't his fault.  But this time, it does have something to do with him...

This all started about 18 days ago.  Yes, I actually looked at the calendar and counted back the days.  In the last 18 days, Steve and I have been in the middle of just lots and lots of hustle and bustle: a trip to see my nephew for his birthday, Polish class, swimming class, visitors at our house, a marathon, a crappy ass birthday for me which deflated me pretty good, projects around the house, two 5-day Hawaii trips, and now the trip Steve is currently on.  In this past 18 days, Steve and I have been in our house only 3 nights by ourselves.

Yes folks, you read that right.  Steve, the kids, and I have basically had no any time to ourselves.  We have been doing this-and-that, and it is taking a toll.  Am I being a whiny bitch?  Kind of. But, if you are a pilot wife you know what I am talking about, and you will SO be able to relate to this.

When your pilot gets home from a trip, you want a bit of down time.  When your pilot gets home from a trip, you want some alone time, if you catch my drift, but that isn't easy to do when you have guests in your house.  When your pilot is home, you just want to take it easy.  When you pilot is home, you want to reconnect.  When you pilot is home, you don't want the days to go by in a flash. 

But, when you pilot is home and all you do is run-around-this, and entertain-that, it doesn't make for any quality time.  The balance is gone. 

Ok, so to come off those points, let's talk about balance when Steve is home.  When he is home, I want him to be totally engaged with the kids.  Ah, but he is also the man of the house and needs to do this-and-that around the house.  How do you balance everything?

 His latest project is ripping out the once sinking deck in the backyard. 

the screened porch is staying, but you can see the deck, a bit, in this picture

The deck is pretty much taken down at this point.  All that is left is ripping out the burning bushes, plant grass, and we Steve will be all done. 

Steve is resourceful, and is taking some of the deck wood and using it to build shelves in the corner of our garage.

this picture shows the columns that are now around our front door, but that corner is where the shelves are going.

In the middle of our past 18 crazy days Steve was working on all this...wait, shouldn't he be spending time with the kids? Wait, but he has to complete these projects before the weather makes him stop.  Wait, how does all this balance out? 

Steve does his best in sneaking time in here or there to get things done.  But, since I am not feeling balanced, the littlest thing will set me off.  Usually, when he asks if he can go out to work on something I grin and say "sure".  But, as of late my responses are probably more like "sure, if you feel like you have to."  Wait, have we heard that line before?

 I haven't been the happiest camper of late.  I hate being this way.  I really do.  It isn't my character to be this way.  We have all been here before where we feel all out of whack.  We long to get back to some sort of normalcy.  But this takes time, and effort, to be honest.  Plus, this all takes extra time when your pilot isn't home every night so you can deal with this.

These are the times when I wish a pilot could call up the company and say "Hi crew scheduling, this is Steve LastName, employee 123456.  I am going to have to call off my next trip.  You see, my wife is out of balance and she needs realigned.  It understand that you are under min coverage, and this will make you junior man someone, bless his heart, but my wife is very close to losing it and I can't have that."

Wouldn't that just be wonderful? 

I will be fine.  Steve and I will be fine.  Steve gets home today and we will spend the evening together as a family.  And so help me God if he busts out the drill to work on the shelves.  The kids will be at school tomorrow, so Steve will knock out the shelving project.  He is off this weekend and we are going to the pumpkin patch and will have a nice family fall weekend.  Life will reset itself...and the world will balance out...thank the Good Lord, because if something doesn't happen in the near future I really may lose it.